February 3rd, 2009:
Your Company’s Blog Is Crap

Blogging is not a marketing strategy. Twitter is not a way to spread the word about your product or site. Facebook and MySpace pages about companies are as useful as a nipple on one’s backside. Sure it’s there, but nobody wants to go near it. If you’re trying to exploit the social media and networking features of the internet, you’re an idiot and it will only hurt you in the long run.

You should have to wear this shirt, all day, every day.

Marketing with blogs and twitter is contrary
to the nature of these systems.

You can’t game the system. Period. This is a world where people filter out crap and decide what’s actually useful. Are you wondering why you only have a few followers on Twitter? Perhaps it’s because you provide no useful information at all! In fact, I would guess that the only followers you have are your employees and their parents. The same goes for your blog. If you write about how great your company is and how useful your products are, people will figure out that you’re trying to sell them something. There are a lot of stupid people out there, but even the lowliest mouth-breather out there knows when they’re getting sold something. We’re not buying it and you’re only hurting your reputation.

People write blogs about real things: what their passions are, how they spent their vacation, how the economy is affecting them, and what their family is doing. They vent (like I am now), they explain, they share. It’s real. Blogging about your benefit package or how great your corporate cafeteria’s food tastes doesn’t really matter, especially if you’re not hiring anyone!

I follow people who twitter about things that interest me, that I benefit from by either sharing information or consuming information. I don’t want to hear about what you’re working on today (especially if it’s the same 2 or 3 things every day), I don’t want to see you invite one of your tweets to lunch (that’s what instant messenger is for, you twit… it’s different if you’re sending an open invitation that you want to broadcast!), and I don’t want to know what new and exciting product your company is launching tomorrow… usually…

The only exception that comes to mind is when your company has a livestyle brand: something that I’m passionate about or invested in: Apple, Woot, Subaru, and Maker’s Mark might be a few examples. They are companies that make products that integrate with my life. I don’t want to hear from my insurance company, bank, mortgage company, or utilities. Period.

Just because Google has a blog that talks about what they’re working on… and it’s immensely popular… doesn’t mean that first global bank’s blog will be the same. Google is buzzworthy. They are an industry changer: the stuff they broadcast has wide-reaching implications and most of all, it’s freakin’ interesting!

Here’s a suggestion: do something better than everyone else. You’ve just created an instant audience. Then, write stuff that your audience cares about. They’ll read it, I promise.

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